Star Trek: Cardinal Needs Artists; Possible Payment

[Nadesico]

Wilde is right you know. The story, to be frank, needs a hell of a lot of work. And you're being arrogant in your, what would probably be described as a "mission statement".

Any executive who sits down and read it will say, "Damn, they want to commit to a 7 year production? What if this is a load of crap, i may not want to invest money into something for such a massive period". you need to write your series so that the end of every season could serve as the end of the series too. By creating a sweeping series layout, you've given the executives something to mull over, but you've written it in such a way that it looks as if you will only accept this if they make the production for a 7 year span. Noone, not businessmen or tv executives will ever sign on for a project of that size, typically projects get reviewed on a quarterly or yearly basis for viability, you need to plan you series to meet this.

The story itself needs to be almost completely overhauled. It needs to be something new with something old, not something random. The Ferengi border, facinating, we've seen the Ferengi in 3 series now, we know what they're like, what is new that you can offer us for them? Something that's not been done before and will captivate people's attention?

Wow, a new enemy on the horizon threatening everything you believe in? Big deal. 4 series now have had this (Borg, Dominion, Xindi) and we all know how their ratings went near the end of their runs. Make something totally unique. Maybe the Federation is dying of an incurable disease and the Cardinal is searching for a cure on the edge of known space. Not just some generic "bad-guy-of-the-week scenario".

I can't stress this enough to you, if you want something to really wow in a presentation to executives (i'm speaking from a pure business perspective here, but film production is pretty much the same from an executive point of view), you HAVE to find something unique and exploit it. This series reeks of being a generic fan film, you need to change it from mediocrity into a gold mine before paramount will even return your calls.

One final thing, take that website down. Slap whoever built it and create a new one. LOOK before you leap, take a look at corporate sites all around the web, take a look at film and TV sites around the web. If someone were to pick up your story, they want to see something impressive, not a site that looks like someone with 5 minutes web experience built in FrontPage.

You also need to completely rewrite everything you've put down into clear, prose and professional sounding. You're not writing a story on the site, or posting in a forum, you're trying to pitch a serious idea to a businessman, a cheap-looking website with bad grammar, spelling mistakes and internet slang strewn through it is not going to impress anyone.

I don't say this to hurt you or mock your work, but I understand if it does. You need to understand that businessmen are going to be far more critical of this then internet users and people around SFM. If you want to get even a glimmer of a chance for a project like this to be launched, you HAVE to do it right the first time. Or you'll end up like Richard Hatch and Glen Larson for 30 years trying and losing most of their money to create a relaunch of a short lived project.

I would like to refer you to BSG as a prime example. It got cancelled due to poor ratings (like enteprise). Each relaunch proposal was shot down because all it offered was more of the same for the original, (which had poor ratings, thus cancelled). Ronald Moore and David Eick came along with a completely new concept, same universe, same characters, completely different setup and they won the new contract and got a series relaunched when 3 former cast and crew couldn't. You have to, HAVE TO wow them or you'll get nothing for all your troubles but a lot of angry cast and crew demanding the money you promised and empty coffers to boot.

[Taranis]

The Original BSG was not canceled due to poor rating... It was just too expensive at a million $ per episode .. so they cut the budget and so was born
Galactica 1980 and the less said about that one the better

[Andrew March]

Originally Posted by Taranis

The Original BSG was not canceled due to poor rating...

No, it was cancelled due to an ongoing incredibly expensive legal battle with George Lucas, who believed that BSG was a rip off of Star Wars. The later 'series' was meant to demonstrate that BSG could move away from the 'Star Wars' look/feel and still work. It failed.

Paramount simply aren't going to commit to another Trek series for a number of reasons, cost per episode, previous failings, lack of anything even remotely resembling an original storyline.

If you're determined to keep Trek alive then a Fan series is really the way to go, you'll still get help and you'll still get exposure which might lead to something else.