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Enter the Kraken Fight Scene
Yaaaaargh!! Slash!
Published by Kageo
02-13-2008
Enter the Kraken Fight Scene

Triclops Fight Scene from Enter the Kraken
The crowd was massive and the air buzzed with flying cameras and spotlights. Xang and his opponent entered from either side. I took a look at the creature, but Xang was already running, sword in hand. The enemy duellist ran as well. he was biggger, at least four times Xangs body mass, and he was running slower. It looked like an armoured tripedal saur with anthroarms. It was triclopean as well, and had two tails. It was armed with a sword but where Xang's appeared like a curved medieval chopping and stabbing tool the alien's was like a throbbing metalorganic barb or leaf, three times the size.

Fifteen metres short Xang screamed a war cry briefly, but then span as he moved and came down kicking into the sand, which shot up towards the aliens head. The trajectory was perfect, and he was sprinting and rolling fast in after it. The sand had bought him a fraction of a second at best and it appeared as though the thing would hit him quite easily, at this range. But Xang sprang up out of his last roll inside its guard as swiped upwards forcing the beast to make a sharp jump backwards, as its chest was slashed. Xang recovered his sword from the cut, twisted out then buried it in the things chest. Then he curled into a ball and rolled between its legs and away. Presumably he had left his sword accelerating, or turned it up remotely once he was clear, but the thing tore it out and tossed it some distance away from the him. Its gore was a pale pearl, like spunk in fact. It was not dying.

Xang had the advantage, having issued the first wounds and I knew he had another sword, compressed like most of his gear, but was chosing not to get it out immediately. Instead he ran is if he wanted to retrieve his first one. Triclops had recovered enough to intercept that maneuver, thumping his feet round and raising his sword for a charge. When he came Xang ran away for a few paces then flipped to face it, his backup in his hand.

"Kill it! Ohhhh fuuuxx!" squeeled Sheven, who had materialized right next to me, ******** herself. The atmosphere in our gallery was tense beyond compare.

The fight was on in earnest. Xang feinted in, then dodged Triclops swing, keeping his sword away, but pushing in once the swing had past. He used his sword to keep Tri's sword away to the right and snapped out three thowing stars with his left hand. They all impacted on its head, one hitting an eye, but they seemed to have little effect. It began to move its sword back into position and Xang jumped back a step, a star in hand. He made to throw it as before, but reversed and threw down instead of up. The Triclops played and wasted one of its aces: another pair of limbs appeared, telescoping out of it's body, darting upward to guard its face, but Xangs star went downwards finding a knee analogue and exploding there, severing the leg all but a thread.

"Fourth star lucky!" laughed Charlie, his voice standing out from the other mercs, due to its animal growl and synthetic distortion.

"Its not over though." I said.

Triclops was howling in pain and rage, its beak gaping to show rows of long brassy teeth. Its roars were gratifying but it was still standing. In fact it appeared to be rearranging its posture very efficiently, and its tails were growing. It held its sword defensively. Xang began circling, watching. Then he walked briskly into strike range and parried when it came, slowing the leafy blade then collapsing away from it, twisting away. Triclops brought it back around very quickly, the blade reversing it symmetry in place. Xang parried again, this time taking the blade and pushing back. There was a second of nothing then Xangs blade wrenched away, and Triclops momentarily lost control of his weapon also.

"I haven't seen anything he couldn't cut with that, apart from fields." said Bulmer.

Xang scored another hit parrying and halving one of the secondary arms that slashed at him, but Triclopses midsection twisted around independently and the other arm fired out and penetrated Xang's face, right through the cheeks. Xang swung back, and no doubt bit down - but the limb ripped away taking his lips and leaving his lower face a gory hole baring his teeth. He moved forward a single step, then raised his sword above his head. Triclops made a thrust, which cut Xang's shoulder as he ducked but Xang was on the floor again, rolling around it, then cutting another leg out from under it. This time it went down. We cheered at the top of our lungs. Xang took a moment to compose himself then took a short run up. He jumped onto Triclops, and sent his sword all the way through its head. Then he amped the vibe rate on it and chopped Triclops into pieces.
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  #1 (permalink)  
By Sanderlee on 02-14-2008, 05:42 PM
Okay. I've read this through a couple of times and have a few comments. This is constructive criticism, so please take no offense. I might seem a bit harsh at times, but that's not the intention. Your work shows considerable imagination, but the writing is, well, rather rough.

Quote:
"The crowd was massive and the air buzzed with flying cameras and spotlights. Xang and his opponent entered from either side. I took a look at the creature, but Xang was already running, sword in hand. "
Just as you have done, we'll start here.

The first paragraph of a piece needs to answer several questions, as well as set the mood for the reader. It needs to answer, at least briefly, the usual who, what, where, when, why and how questions. More precisely, it needs to answer SOME of them (not necessarily all ... that's what the rest of the story is for, right?).

Yours starts by implying the where - a large crowd with flying cameras suggests a stadium but doesn't explicitly say so. The first, most crucial factor about readers that you have to remember is that the reader is dumb. NOT to say that he or she is stupid, but rather uninformed. This is your world that you are presenting to the reader--he or she has no idea what, where, etc. It's your job, as writer, to present them with as much information as you can early on. The story doesn't start with the first sentence, paragraph or, often, even page. You need to establish setting before you can start the action. Sometimes. There are exceptions to this, and every, rule in writing.

So, how could you address this? Well, for starters, expand that first sentence into a full paragraph of its own. For example:

The crowd was still finding their seats as the lights dimmed. Roving beams of spotlights lit tier after tier of people whose avid eyes all faced the arena floor below them. Tiny robotic cameras, floating on suspensors, buzzed to and fro, ready to record the crowd, the action, and anything else their sensors found intersting or marketable. The conversations of thousands of people and the wild cheers of the fans all combined to a din that competed with the triumphant music as Xang, the challenger, entered the ring.

This is stronger (but, of course could be far stronger still - it's only a first draft, after all ). There is more information for the reader, setting the stage before the action begins. The reader feels more a part of the audience, is more aware of the circumstances and environment. A common mistake that many new writers make is jumping into the action too fast. It's the influence of movies and TV, I think--where the first few seconds are as likely to be a flurry of action with pulsing music that makes the viewer go "cooool" before they can think "WTF's going on??!?"

Quote:
"I took a look at the creature, but Xang was already running, sword in hand. The enemy duellist ran as well. he was bigger, at least four times Xangs body mass, and he was running slower."
Okay, several problems here. FIRST and foremost - spelling, grammar, and structure.

a) Spelling - with modern word processors, there's no excuse at all for spelling errors. I know, I know "but, I wrote this in the forum and there's no spellchecker," you say. That may be, but you didn't have to. I suggest, instead, that you write on Word (or whatever word processor you have) and then either attach it or cut/paste it.

examples: duellist should be duelist and bigger doesn't need that extra g.

b) Grammar - passive voice is the enemy. It deadens prose, removing the sense or urgency, participation and, often, interest. If you are using the verb "to be" in any of its forms, you're flirting with passive voice. If not passive, using "to be" is almost always weak. You want to use action verbs. SHOW the reader, don't TELL them. Modern spellcheckers also have a grammar check option that allows them to hunt for passive voice violations. Turn that setting on. ANY writing, academic, scholarly, fiction, screenwriting, even poetry should avoid passive and weak construction. NOTE - grammar checkers will NOT find weak construction, just passive. Weak writing is something you have to learn to recognize (and, with practice, you will).

example: he was running slower works better with something like: despite the pounding of its heavy tread, Xang quickly outpaced the beast, his strides a stacatto tapping to the other's slow, powerful drumbeat.

c) Structure - Xang's not Xangs. Two spaces after a period, not one (and in rereading my post once it actually posted I find that the forum formatter has shrunk all two-space markers to just one ... so this might not have been your fault - but be aware of it anyway!!). Commas are also an issue (and, oddly, one of the hardest things for any writer to master). Pick up one of the innumerable writing, grammar, and style guides--they're invaluable tools.

Quote:
"It looked like an armored tripedal saur with anthroarms. It was triclopean as well, and had two tails."
This suffers from several problems I've mentioned before. Leaving aside undefined terms like saur and anthroarms (do not expect the reader to tease out your meaning the first time you use a new or unusual term, we're dumb, remember? ), it's ALL TELL. There's no show here. The description is flat, lifeless - the reader gets no sense of motion, energy, size, or weight. This guy's a big badass (one that tells the audience just how studly Xang is when Xang defeats him). Punch this up. Make the reader go "mmm, this thing's scary."

Example: Xang's opponent stood easily a meter taller than he. Its twin tails lashed the arena floor, stirring up clouds of dust with the force of their motion. Three luminous eyes, each split by a snake's vertical pupil glared above a snout filled with curved fangs and a flickering, forked tongue. Its muscles bunched and writhed beneath scaly, armored skin as tripod legs slammed the floor with heavy tread as it vainly pursued the far faster Xang.

Same information - size, three legs, saurian appearance, armor - but more vibrant. There's a sense of movement, power and danger now.

Also, commas. Unless you're making a list, you almost never place a comma before "and." In the case of a list, however, the list has to be three items or longer for there to be a comma. For example: thing one, thing two, and thing three ... but not in thing one and thing two. Commas separate items in a list, clauses, qualifiers, and parentheticals. One reason you use them in a list is for clarity: blue, green, and yellow is different from blue, green and yellow. How? In the second example green and yellow are linked to become a single idea (greenish yellow) whereas in the first they are separate (green and yellow apart from one another).

Quote:
"It was armed with a sword, but where Xang's appeared like a curved medieval chopping and stabbing tool the alien's was like a throbbing metalorganic barb or leaf, three times the size."
You are trying to describe two weapons and compare them to one another in the same sentence. Now, I'm a fan of the compound, complex sentence, but there are times it just doesn't work. The sentence above is an example not of a run-on but, rather, a needlessly complex one. Better to split these two descriptions up into two sentences. Compare them in a third and provide action in the comparison. For example:

Xang's sword caught the reflection of a spotlight on its curved blade, flashing with the brightness of polished steel. Its barbed point seemed to trace a line of fire in the air as he slashed the blade down towards his foe. The monster caught Xang's blade on his own, a strangely organic weapon with a leaf-like design. The monster's weapon throbbed audibly, pulsing a hideous sound as Xang's blade grated down its length, striking sparks. After a moment of push and shove, the two warriors separated, pausing briefly in the en garde position before lunging at one another once more.

Now, I could go on and on and on. But I think I've made my points clear. Show the reader, don't tell him or her. Learn the rules of grammar, structure, and (above all) commas. The imagination is there, what you WANT to say is tantilizingly close--you just need to refine the technique of writing.

Four final points however. And, considering their length, I guess I am "going on and on" after all ... oh, silly me.

a)
Quote:
"Its gore was a pale pearl, like spunk in fact."
Um, yeah. This shouts "I am a kid who's trying to sound cool" to the reader. Spunk is not an adjective, noun, or descriptor you'll find most (read: any) author using outside a skin mag or porno screenplay (yes, porn films DO have screenplays, even if the writers aren't members of the WGA). Simply stating that the gore is a pale pearl color is enough. Comparing it to semen is unecessary and hurts YOUR credibility as an author.

b)
Quote:
"Kill it! Ohhhh, fuuxxx!"
Ditto. Attempting to write in emphasis to an exclamation is very distracting to the reader. It breaks the fourth wall and knocks the reader out of the narrative. You would be better served by showing the reader Sheven's enthusiasm through exposition rather than spelling and verbal tricks.

"Kill it," Sheven whispered, clutching the railing with white-knuckled ferocity. "Oh, ****, kill it now!" Her voice rose to a shrill pitch as Xang danced ever closer, spilling the monster's pale blood upon the arena sands. (edit note - and I see here that the parental controls have bleeped out my own four letter word, so again this might not have been your fault - but again, be aware of the problem and, whenever possible and appropriate, use another word)

Related to this is lingo. Often an author will want to create a new mode of speaking, new terms, or even a new language to demonstrate to the reader how alien this new world is. Sometimes this works, sometimes it doesn't--witness the great debate over the use of "frak" in Battlestar Galactica. When starting out, it's best to NOT try to invent a lingo or patois. Instead, develop a DIFFERENT method of giving the characters a unique voice without resorting to invented words. Doing the latter risks two things: as I said, it knocks down the fourth wall and pushes the reader back out of the narrative, but also it risks incomprehension. If the reader is supposed to understand what a character is saying or thinking, using words the reader doesn't know (and, more importantly, cannot know - some of the terms I've used here might be unknown to you, but YOU can go look them up, the reader of your work has no "your world to english" dictionary to fall back on) simply annoys him or her.

c)
Quote:
... squeeled Sheven, who had materialized right next to me, ******** herself.
Um, spelling and grammar errors aside, what??!? Omitting a word like this is a certain sign of youth. Never omit swear words like this. You've heard them. We've heard them. You may not feel comfortable saying them but you've GOT to get comfortable writing them. Not all the time and not in all circumstances--but when a curse fits, use a curse. Don't worry about what your parents, teachers, or friends will say. Unless you're writing this for a school project (as much of my writing has often been) there's no need to censor yourself. Likewise, if you're going to censor yourself then choose a new word, don't just blank it out and leave the reader confused. I have NO idea what she's doing to herself here. Is she masturbating to the violence? Is ********* an impolite term for teleportation (she did just materialize, after all - and if she didn't teleport in than perhaps materialize is another word you should change)? Losing the reader is the greatest sin an author can commit--one, God knows, I committed a lot earlier in my writing.

d) A lot of the fun in writing is getting the story down, blasting the words out onto the page in a flurry of spastic typing and flying fingers. The author often wants to see how the story ends as much as the reader will (goodness knows I often have only the vaguest idea where my writing's going the first time I put it to paper or screen). BUT, writing is also work. 10% of the effort is the initial writing--90% is rewriting and editing. And, frankly, these ratios put too much stock in the original writing. The first draft of anything you're going to write is going to range from "um, okay" to "poor" to "needs work" to "awful" to "dreadful" to "pure and simple ****." My first drafts often fall into options four and five. NO ONE gets it right out of the gate--not Stephen King, David Weber, or Frank Herbert, not Hemmingway, Austen, or Harper Lee. Anyone who says different has not looked at their work with a critical eye.

Some of my work has gone through thirty or forty drafts--it's also been nominated for awards and publication (I write some fiction, but as a Graduate Student in a History program most of my writing has been scholarly lately, sigh). Take your work apart. Analyze each paragraph. Then analyze each sentence. Then every word. On paper is not carved in stone--on screen or file is even less so. Play with the language--expand it, shrink it, move it, change it, delete it. The more you edit and rewrite the stronger your work will be.

As I said at the beginning, this shows considerable promise. You have a good imagination. There's a sense of an image, a scene here that's dying to come out. All that's holding it back is technique, practice and continued effort. Don't give up. I'm almost forty, have been writing for almost three decades and I don't know everything--I never will. Good luck, and I look forward to seeing you redraft this and flesh it out.

-- and Lord, how I run on!

Sanderlee.
End note - even THIS I reread three times before posting, finding small errors, mistakes and improvements. And edited three times more AFTER posting. I could go back to it over and over and fix errors 'til the cows come home, but I think I've made my points!
Last edited by Sanderlee; 02-14-2008 at 05:50 PM.
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  #2 (permalink)  
By Kageo on 02-18-2008, 03:31 PM
Cheers Sanderlee

Hi,
First off, thanks for the review Sanderlee, that was very cool of you.

I was being very silly with this really. I'm in the thick of writing this, aiming for a 'novel' because that the target I've had in mind for so long. I'm having more difficulty writing some parts (a sexual chemistry scene) and redrafting some others. The fight scene I uploaded here was a spontaneous thing, to get some writing out of my system like a pressure valve. Basically I wrote what came easy for a session then for some reason uploaded it just as spontaneously.

So you're right. There is loads of raw and bad writing in it.

I also forgot, on this site, to upload the preamble, which read:

Quote:
"This bit of story I wrote in order to spit it out, whilst in the midst of boring redrafts of other bits.

It is a straightforward Arena duel.

All that has been established, that is relevant here is that: Captain Li Xang is a cyborg mercenary, and one of my three PoV's. One of the other PoVs is the one this piece/exercise is written from, who is spectating. Xangs sword vibrates in different patterns.

(no indenting right now)"
One thing I had in mind when I wrote it, is that it is basically a 'plug in' scene at this point. I don't know where in the finished text it will go, if at all. It might end up being an exercise. I assumed it would be edited to fit in better with what comes before it.

Quote:
"SHOW the reader, don't TELL them"
Yeah I try to keep this one in mind, esp for action-y bits, on redraft. I do find however, that it is a balance.

Quote:
"Leaving aside undefined terms like saur and anthroarms (do not expect the reader to tease out your meaning the first time you use a new or unusual term, we're dumb, remember? )"
I'll have to respectfully disagree here. I think 'saur' is evocative enough, through its relation to 'dinosaur' and 'anthroarms' is easily decoded by some. Those who can't decode that or read past it, I can't honestly say I have much time/sympathy for. There are good, top level sf authors out there saying things like 'you can't make money out of this, unless you are top tier' so I am not trying to write it for maximum publishability/market appeal any more. At least this draft, this version. I'm writing this because I need to finish it, get it done.
So I am writing, I guess, what I would want to read.


Quote:
"It was armed with a sword, but where Xang's appeared like a curved medieval chopping and stabbing tool the alien's was like a throbbing metalorganic barb or leaf, three times the size."

'You are trying to describe two weapons and compare them to one another in the same sentence. Now, I'm a fan of the compound, complex sentence, but there are times it just doesn't work. The sentence above is an example not of a run-on but, rather, a needlessly complex one. Better to split these two descriptions up into two sentences. Compare them in a third and provide action in the comparison. ' "
I've been critiqued for this before. I quite often offer this crit myself, to others. I'm also a fan of the compound sentence, and I want to get it right. One problem with this sentence, is that I am trying to avoid Earth terminology, and so
Quote:
'curved medieval chopping and stabbing tool'
is standing in for *katana*
I'm going to chop this sentence up though, you are right about it. I'm gonna stick with compound though, I'm convinced that this type of sentence can work well in action scenes.

Quote:
'Simply stating that the gore is a pale pearl color is enough.'
A turd in the punchbowl, for sure.
Good one for picking this out.


Quote:
" "Kill it! Ohhhh, fuuxxx!"

Ditto. Attempting to write in emphasis to an exclamation is very distracting to the reader. It breaks the fourth wall and knocks the reader out of the narrative. You would be better served by showing the reader Sheven's enthusiasm through exposition rather than spelling and verbal tricks."
This bit clearly needs work, although I want it to stay in some form. The advantage of it as it is, would be concision. Sheven doesn't deserve much more, esp during a fight scene. I'm not sure why I spelt it funny here though. Clearly what I have, has failed though, as it was not enthusiasm I was trying to convey.

Quote:
"When starting out, it's best to NOT try to invent a lingo or patois."
Why though? When starting out doing what? This does make the text less lisible, more scriptible, but doesn't that just change its type?

Quote:
"... squeeled Sheven, who had materialized right next to me, ******** herself."

Um, spelling and grammar errors aside, what??!? Omitting a word like this is a certain sign of youth"
Yeah that one was the vBulletin censor thingy.
It should have said something like 5hi771ng.
In the context of the story I have written so far, which would lead up to this scene, it would be clear that this is a vanilla 'materialized', not a teleport one, but taken in isolation like this, on an sf forum, I can see why 'materialized' is confusing.

Quote:
"Some of my work has gone through thirty or forty drafts--it's also been nominated for awards and publication"
Whoa! and ... Cool!

I will certainly redraft this and probably incorporate it into Enter the Kraken (currently at about 30,000 words) as it will fit in easy enough.
I feel like apologizing, or kicking myself for uploading something so rough, it gets reviewers like yourself to pick out all the grammatical stuff, and punctuation, when I should be more interested in how it is received as fiction. I think uploading it was some psycho-cathartic/spontaneous thing

Thankyou Sanderlee, you have really put some thought and effort into your reply, I appreciate it.
If we were on a dedicated review site, that post would definately have earned you a point
I won't be giving up! In the longer view, I have been at this for years now, and its like crack to be honest, its very addictive.(( Digression: this weekend away may have brought Kraken a good deal closer to becoming a graphic novel at some point ))

cheers,
Kageo
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  #3 (permalink)  
By Sanderlee on 02-19-2008, 02:12 PM
Quote:
Hi,
First off, thanks for the review Sanderlee, that was very cool of you.
You're quite welcome.

Quote:
I'll have to respectfully disagree here. I think 'saur' is evocative enough, through its relation to 'dinosaur' and 'anthroarms' is easily decoded by some. Those who can't decode that or read past it, I can't honestly say I have much time/sympathy for.
Aaah, but aren't they the folks who will be buying your product? I admit that saur is pretty obvious, and in the greater context of your work it might be blatantly so. Anthroarms, however, took me a second or so to puzzle out (and I'm a die-hard sci-fi/SF geek) simply because it was such a peculiar word. It's one of those smack-the-forehead-its-so-obvious-in-retrospect kinda words, but not everyone's going to get it.

Quote:
There are good, top level sf authors out there saying things like 'you can't make money out of this, unless you are top tier' so I am not trying to write it for maximum publishability/market appeal any more.
I would argue that "top tier" means maximum publishability. The greater the potential readership the more potential buyers. Harry Potter isn't (activate snooty British Accent) Fine Literature ... but it's good, well written and accessible to a wide range. Combined with her lightning in a bottle timing and JK is richer than the Queen. Obviously most SF writers aren't in her weight class (heck, are ANY writers in her $$ class at this point??!?), but there's a LOT to be said for maximum accessibility.

Yes, there is a counter-argument as well. Goodness knows Gibson's work is far from universally accessible, but he's quite successful. But, I work from the principle that to be "edgy" you either have to be a) that damn good (which I'm not ... yet) or b) already fairly successful.


Quote:
One problem with this sentence, is that I am trying to avoid Earth terminology, and so ... standing in for *katana*
Sometimes the best term for katana is ... katana.

Quote:
I'm convinced that this type of sentence can work well in action scenes.
Not saying it doesn't ... just saying THAT ONE didn't.

Quote:
Why though? When starting out doing what? This does make the text less lisible, more scriptible, but doesn't that just change its type?
There's degrees. In any science fiction there's going to be lingo, new terms, and the potential for a patois. The trouble is to make it original without being corny or inaccessible. Something like fuuxxx comes off more as a juvenile method of avoiding a swear word than it does a contemporary slang term or expression that these characters would use. Please note - I am not trying to imply that your writing is juvenile in any way (from your response it clearly is not) ... just this word in particular feels that way.

I always had a problem, for example, with Larry Niven's use of "censored" and "bleeped" in his Known Space series. The idea that people would replace curse terms with the very sounds/actions used to replace curse terms (that sounds redundant, I know ... but you get the idea) is silly. Sure, language evolves, but between print, audio, and video recordings language also solidifies. Terms go in and out of fashion (remember ebonics?) but the roots stay the same. IMHO, of course.

Oddly, however, I had no problem with the patois/technobabble in Andromeda. Sure, they didn't say what PDLs were any of the other myriad terms they bandied about, but they became obvious pretty quick. Sometimes it's just context. Besides, the babes were, well, babes!

Quote:
Yeah that one was the vBulletin censor thingy.
It should have said something like 5hi771ng.
Actually, leet-speak would've drawn even more fire from me ... I loathe it. But yeah, sometimes you just can't avoid the censor programs. What I've done is write in Word, use a program to convert it to a .pdf and uploaded that. The pesky vBulletin program canna censor my .pdf! Power to the people! Burn baby burn!

Okay, perhaps I should lay off the morning Diet Pepsi ... caffeine rush, whoo.

Quote:
Whoa! and ... Cool!
Nothing wrong with recognition. To be honest, win or no to be recognized as a colleague (and refered to as such) by guys with Ph.D.'s when I'm still working towards my Masters (one year to go) is almost reward enough. Of course, I won't turn down publication or a stipend, however!

Quote:
I feel like apologizing, or kicking myself for uploading something so rough, it gets reviewers like yourself to pick out all the grammatical stuff, and punctuation, when I should be more interested in how it is received as fiction.
Don't apologize. While I admit I focused on the grammar, that's as much my own interest as it was the quality of the story. I find myself picking out errors in published works ... sometimes often (it's amazing what gets through nowadays). That's more me than you, worry not. As I said, the scene behind the writing was certainly interesting. If it wasn't, I certainly wouldn't have invested the time to write a critique longer than the piece itself!

Quote:
I think uploading it was some psycho-cathartic/spontaneous thing
Been there, done that, got the t-shirt and the baseball cap. Sometimes ya just gotta hit print, or send, or post, and see what others think. If nothing else it's a "get off my screen, foul spot!" moment.

Quote:
Thankyou Sanderlee, you have really put some thought and effort into your reply, I appreciate it.
Quite welcome.

Quote:
(( Digression: this weekend away may have brought Kraken a good deal closer to becoming a graphic novel at some point ))
Muchly of the spiffyness. Publication is always a good thing. Heck, Stephen King got his first checks from skin-mags which published his short stories in between those, erm, "other" pages.

Toodles!

Sanderlee.
Last edited by Sanderlee; 02-19-2008 at 02:18 PM.
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